… and come with a deadline.
There is strong empirical evidence
to suggest that goals that are written down
are more likely to be reached. In fact, the
more you write about your goals, the greater
your chances of success. The more closely you
can visualise exactly what you want, the more
likely you are to make it happen. This means
not just daydreaming but visualising, imagining
yourself really in the situation you want to
make happen.
Listen to yourself
There is no point in setting yourself
a lot of goals that you think you ought to want,
if deep inside you actually don't want to achieve
them. If you feel yourself resisting working
towards a particular goal, don't beat yourself
up about it but take some time and space to
look carefully at what is happening. Why are
you resisting? Is that goal what you truly want?
Or what your parents/partner/friends think you
should want?
It's a cliché to say follow
your heart but, in the end, this is the
only way to be happy.
Attitude
Once you've decided what you really
want, focus on it. This focus, which is sharpened
by writing down your goals, is what will carry
you through to success - provided, of course,
you remember you are focusing on a future reality
that you are in the process of bringing about,
rather than on some impossible dream.
The importance and value of positive
self-talk cannot be overestimated. If you're
constantly telling yourself you can't do it,
it will be exceedingly difficult for you to
overcome this. If
you believe you can do it, you can. Again,
something of a cliché but it's absolutely
true.
Look after yourself
It's a common misconception that
treating oneself well is selfish. Actually,
if you spend too long sacrificing yourself for
other people, you'll find you have very little
left to offer them. If looking after yourself
seems too self-indulgent to you, remember that
you need to replenish your reserves if you are
going to be able to look after other people
well. And that means regularly
taking time for yourself.
This does not mean, however, that
you should give short-term gratification priority
over long-term wellbeing. For example, if you
are worried about money, don't buy yourself
an expensive treat to cheer yourself up. If
you want to be healthier, don't reward yourself
for a session in the gym with a chocolate bar.
These things are not looking after yourself,
they are sabotaging your progress.
In general, you should be eating
and drinking reasonably healthily and getting
enough sleep, fresh air and exercise to make
you feel healthy and strong. If you're not doing
these things, there is a danger you are not
valuing yourself as highly as you should.
More specifically, here are a
few suggestions for looking after yourself:
Take time alone to be quiet. You
can buy CDs to help you relax and even meditate.
You can buy wonderful aromatherapy oils to burn
or to put in the bath. Or you can just sit quietly
or go for a walk.
Take time to pursue activities
you enjoy but that may not be "useful"
as such - for example, hobbies, chatting to
friends, going to the theatre.
If you're interested in Christianity
and discussing the big issues of life, look
into attending an Alpha or Emmaus course at
your local church. These are usually pretty
relaxed affairs and can be both stimulating
and comforting.
Sort out the little things that
annoy you about your environment. For example,
if the handle on your kitchen door has come
off, put it back on or get somebody else to
do it.
Challenge yourself from time to
time. If you regularly leave your comfort zone,
you'll find it expands, so that things that
would once have scared you, you can now take
in your stride.
If you need help in any of
these areas - or in any others - you can always
give yourself a couple of sessions with a life
coach. However, there is a great deal you can
do for yourself by yourself.
You owe it to yourself
and to the world to treat yourself kindly and
to fulfil your potential.
Recommended reading
These are books to inspire
and sustain you on your journey of self-development:
