Coach Yourself

Here are a few suggestions for how to coach yourself. As you read them, you may well come up with other ideas of your own. If so, write them down and make sure you use them.

Goals

If you want to move your life forward, it's essential to set yourself goals. Every big goal should have a set of little goals leading up to it. Breaking things down into chunks makes them much easier to achieve.

Good goals are:

clear (how will you know when you've done it?)
realistic (otherwise you're just setting yourself up for failure)
positive (no "stop" or "don't" goals; you need something positive to aim at)

… and come with a deadline.

There is strong empirical evidence to suggest that goals that are written down are more likely to be reached. In fact, the more you write about your goals, the greater your chances of success. The more closely you can visualise exactly what you want, the more likely you are to make it happen. This means not just daydreaming but visualising, imagining yourself really in the situation you want to make happen.

Listen to yourself

There is no point in setting yourself a lot of goals that you think you ought to want, if deep inside you actually don't want to achieve them. If you feel yourself resisting working towards a particular goal, don't beat yourself up about it but take some time and space to look carefully at what is happening. Why are you resisting? Is that goal what you truly want? Or what your parents/partner/friends think you should want?

It's a cliché to say follow your heart but, in the end, this is the only way to be happy.

Attitude

You can do it! Once you've decided what you really want, focus on it. This focus, which is sharpened by writing down your goals, is what will carry you through to success - provided, of course, you remember you are focusing on a future reality that you are in the process of bringing about, rather than on some impossible dream.

The importance and value of positive self-talk cannot be overestimated. If you're constantly telling yourself you can't do it, it will be exceedingly difficult for you to overcome this. If you believe you can do it, you can. Again, something of a cliché but it's absolutely true.

Look after yourself

It's a common misconception that treating oneself well is selfish. Actually, if you spend too long sacrificing yourself for other people, you'll find you have very little left to offer them. If looking after yourself seems too self-indulgent to you, remember that you need to replenish your reserves if you are going to be able to look after other people well. And that means regularly taking time for yourself.

This does not mean, however, that you should give short-term gratification priority over long-term wellbeing. For example, if you are worried about money, don't buy yourself an expensive treat to cheer yourself up. If you want to be healthier, don't reward yourself for a session in the gym with a chocolate bar. These things are not looking after yourself, they are sabotaging your progress.

In general, you should be eating and drinking reasonably healthily and getting enough sleep, fresh air and exercise to make you feel healthy and strong. If you're not doing these things, there is a danger you are not valuing yourself as highly as you should.

More specifically, here are a few suggestions for looking after yourself:

Take time out to nurture yourself Take time alone to be quiet. You can buy CDs to help you relax and even meditate. You can buy wonderful aromatherapy oils to burn or to put in the bath. Or you can just sit quietly or go for a walk.

Take time to pursue activities you enjoy but that may not be "useful" as such - for example, hobbies, chatting to friends, going to the theatre.

If you're interested in Christianity and discussing the big issues of life, look into attending an Alpha or Emmaus course at your local church. These are usually pretty relaxed affairs and can be both stimulating and comforting.

Sort out the little things that annoy you about your environment. For example, if the handle on your kitchen door has come off, put it back on or get somebody else to do it.

Challenge yourself from time to time. If you regularly leave your comfort zone, you'll find it expands, so that things that would once have scared you, you can now take in your stride.

If you need help in any of these areas - or in any others - you can always give yourself a couple of sessions with a life coach. However, there is a great deal you can do for yourself by yourself.

You owe it to yourself and to the world to treat yourself kindly and to fulfil your potential.

Life Coaching UK

Coach Yourself

Goals

Listen to yourself

Attitude

Look after yourself

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